


Rockabye

by ThatDamnKennedyKid



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Non-Sexual Slavery, Parent-Child Relationship, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDamnKennedyKid/pseuds/ThatDamnKennedyKid
Summary: From the day he crawled into her bed, cold and unable to sleep, she gave him everything she had. She would do everything in her power to save him from all she had endured at the hands of the galaxy.





	Rockabye

It was an open secret at the Temple. Those who knew her before kept their mouths shut about it. Those who came to knkw her afterwards were never told. 

Anakin didn't know. Not until now. 

* * *

She understood. She really did. 

Qui-Gon had been the boy's main point of reference, the one that would speak to him. This new woman, standing quietly off to the side, was foreign. He was uncomfortable, and she was aware of it. 

He refused to voice any complaint on Queen Amidala's starship, but he was visibly shaking from the cold. She made her light steps heavy before laying her thick cloak over his shoulders. He blinked up at her, a little confused, but accepted the peace offering. 

"My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi." She said, offering a gentle smile. It was hard for her to muster since her return. 

He stuck his little hand out. "Anakin Skywalker."

Her smile was more genuine as she took his hand, shaking it lightly but firmly. He grinned back. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

That night, and for many nights afterwards, he snuck into her bunk in the middle of the night, wrapped in her robe, and stood over her, gnawing on his lower lip. 

She rolled over to face him, eyes open, and he froze. She opened her arm, lifting the blanket. 

"Come on. The cold air is getting in."

He was quick to obey her, but still seemed nervous about touching her. So, with plenty of time for him to rebuke the touch, she pulled him into her and tucked his head against her collarbone. 

"When we get to the Temple, will you try to replace my mom?"

She stroked his hair. "No. I couldn't even if I tried. She has a special place in your heart. But I would like to become like a big sister, someone you can rely on and trust to keep you safe."

"Okay." He snuggled close to her collar, fingera twisting in the lighter material of her sleepwear. "Mom used to hold me to her side."

"Do you want to do that?"

He thought for a moment. "No. I want it to be different with you. She slept like that so I didn't wake up when she left for morning chores."

She understood. She didn't say it, the hurt too new and the ache still there, but she did. She only held him tighter, kissing his hair. 

"Sleep, youngling. Tomorrow, our adventure begins and you will need the rest."

"Okay, Obi-Wan." 

* * *

His eyes, still that same blue, burned with unshed tears. 

"When did this happen?"

She sighed, the burden of her failure visible and heavy. "Rofallo, a tiny asteroid belt beyond Mandalore. Pirates capture people and force them to mine the asteriods for their rich mineral deposits. Then, then the asteroid had been strip-mined to the point of cracking, the pirates blow up the rock along with anyone on it, overworked and tired-bodied slaves. I spent two and a half years on one."

The tears were overwhelming him, she could tell. He never did take suffering well, even less so with slavery. 

"How could you hide this from me?"

"I was a little over a year free. It took me a long time to be able to look at my back without bursting into tears." She pulled the ruins of her robes closer, but her back was still bare, the matching burns down her back clear as day and black like burned-out coals. 

"Master . . . " Ahsoka whimpered sympathetically. 

She looked down, unable to meet the pity in their eyes. "They took them from me so I couldn't escape. Even Satine doesn't know, and we met on that pirate ship."

He dropped to his knees beside her, his face as crushed as she felt. Thank the Light Cody had cleared out all of the gawking clones, thoight she was sure her commander would have questions for her later. 

"Why didn't you tell me after, when you were okay? I told you all about my past."

She smiled, crooked and broken and sad. "I finished raising you, Anakin. You slept in my bed until you were fifteen. I would hold you through nightmares and carry you to bed when you would fall asleep on the couch after dinner. I did not want you scared for me. I tried to make everything better for you. I tried to lift you above fear, above pain. I never wanted you to carry mine. This is the punishment for my mistakes, the burden I bear for what I've done. Not yours. Your life is open before you, not tied to my chains."

He really did begin to cry, pulling her into his arms and holding her against his collar, so familiar. 

"I'd rather hurt with you than not know, than not care. You're my world, Obi-Wan."

She slumped into him a little bit, taking solace in the strength of his arms. 

* * *

She had not been anyone's third choice, let alone their first. She was mouthy, intelligent, challenging. No one wanted her, not even the other younglings wanted her around. 

Qui-Gon had made no reservations about informing her that the Council had forced her on him. She was bitter, held that close to her chest even as he grew to appreciate her more and more. 

"I'm glad they gave you to me." He told her one day. She watched him walk away, scowling. 

"No you're not."

Those first years poisoned their relationship, but she was gone before he realized it. 

* * *

"Not as much as you are mine." She wrapped her one available arm around his waist. He was so warm now. No longer chilled by space. "I always understood. I knew exactly what you felt. I had already been there."

"Like what?" He murmured into her hair. 

"Being bullied at the Temple. Having a master chosen for you instead of being chosen by a master. Slavery, distance from loved ones, losing a limb. I always understood."

He was shaking, suppressing his noises if he couldn't keep his eyes dry. 

* * *

They had taken her because she was beautiful. Valuable. Then, they had strapped her down, doused them in oil and set her wings ablaze. 

The agony of it haunted her. Then, they had taken the remaining bone and crudely sawed it off, laughing at her betrayed whimpers. She had long ago lost her voice to screaming. 

They threw her into the mines, still warm from the furnaces, with a pickaxe and whipped her smouldering skin. No matter how many times the scabs cracked, she continued to work. 

Then the rumour of their impending doom started to circle and her broken spirit fused together enough to push her into action. 

It didn't matter if her master never came for her, if the Council had been so quick to let her leave. She was a warrior and she had set out to save the galaxy. This was a start. 

She found her lightsaber, and even though twl years had passed since she'd held it in her hands, the motion came back to her as easy as breathing after surfacing. 

Then she killed them all. There were no innocents here, only slavers and slaves. 

Satine had been in one of the ransom cages.

"Are you a Jedi?"

She considered it, but there was no plumage, nothig left of the old Padawan. "No."

"Then you shouldn't have that."

"I never said I had never been. Just that i am not now."

Satine chuckled. "Point made. Thank you."

"A little late for thanks, isn't it?"

"Its never too late." She joined her outside the cage. "Where to, ex-Jedi?"

"They were looking to ransom you, so yiu'll have someone looking for you. Perhaps it is best if you choose the destination."

"Come then. Find us a ship and I'll get everyone to a safe planet."

"Lead on . . .?"

"Satine. Duchess Satine Kryze. And you?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, at your service."

* * *

Her fingers dug into the cloth of his robes. 

"I let you be you because that's who you needed to be. You always, always came first. I broke countless Temple regulations as your Master. Perhaps I've failed you by doing so, but I did what I thought was right. I tried to save you because no one tried to save me."

* * *

Satine notified the Temple as soon as she caught sight of her back. 

"I won't allow it!"

"The choice isn't yours! I've left the Order - I'm not allowed back, do you not understand?!"

Satine scowled, turning her back on the other woman. "You better hope they make exceptions, because I have a world to attend to. I can't have you as a burden on my staff."

When Qui-Gon spotted her, he broke into a run. He dropped to his knees and hugged her for all he was worth. She didn't respond, wings taken and heart broken. 

She returned with him because she had nothing else. No one else. Just a master who hadn't wanted her and a mould she didn't fit into.

The Council welcomed her back openly, but she suspected it was because they pitied her. So much of who she was had been left behind on that asteroid. 

"Please talk to me." Qui-Gon pleaded. 

She met his stare, her own glazed and distant. She felt her wings shift, but the sensation was as phantom as Satine's 'love' for her had been. 

"About what?"

His hopeful smile broke and he toom her too-still hands in his own shaking ones. "Anything. I want to hear your voice again. I want to see you smile. I want you to come alive."

"Then what am I now?" 

"A ghost."

"Think positively, Master. Your wish for a more subdued Padawan has been granted." She stood, pulling away. "The Force is certainly mysterious."

She never opened her heart to him, punoshing him for a trangression he had long since served time for. She regretted it after Maul killed him, and she missed his steady hand steering her. He was a good man, but he was not who she needed him to be. 

Satine called twice in the intervening months of her recovery before the fateful mission to Tatooine, but both hails had gone unanswered. 

The Masters regarded her differently, and her yearmates looked on her with awe. Tupal had been the only one to voice what they had all been projecting. 

"I would not have survived that."

She had only walked away from him, but she knew it too.  _No, you wouldn't have. You mocked me for being too hard, but it turns out, you're too soft._

* * *

"Will you let me help you now?"

She breathed deeply. She had to soften for the boy, but this was the man. 

"Only if you willingly share your secret as well."

He froze in her arms. "You know."

"Of course I do. But if I'm to let you share in my burden, then you owe me the same."

He bent down and nuzzled into her neck, like he had as a teenager hiding from the world. "I'm married. To Padmé. I can't help it, Obi-Wan, I love her."

"I know, dear one." She stroked his back. "I loved too. But never forget that she is her own hero, and if she needs your help, it will be at her side, not away from it."

"You're not mad?"

"I'm not your mother, and I will never replace Shmi, but you are my child. I would do anything for you."

She could feel his tears against her neck. "I love you, Master."

"And I you, Padawan."

* * *

She had taken him to Hymothe as a birthday present. Soft-sanded beaches with crystal-clear waters as blue as his eyes and sparkling shells as far as the eye could see.  He spent days running in the warm water, gathering shells and making every kind od necklace he could imagine.

Fourteen standard years old to the day. He lay on his back, exhausted, head on her lap. His skin had gotten a healthy glow and his hair shone more blonde than it had in a long time. He was still grinning like a fool, but she had yet to unleash her greatest surprise. 

"This place is amazing, Master." He breathed, fingers reaching up to play with the copper strands falling loosely onto his face..

"It is indeed lovely." She reached behind her and set a small box on his chest. 

He opened it without sitting up, pulling out a silver chain with a small feather on it encased in glass. "Its beautiful."

She smiled a little ruefully. She had given the last bit of herself to her Padawan. "The feather is a momento of mine. The glass is made from Tatooine sand."

He loomed up at her, eyes wide and stunned. 

She took his hand, kissing the knuckles. "Even our deepest, darkest struggles can make something beautiful, my desert flower. No matter what the galaxy takes from you, remember this. Darkness rises in the absence of light. Let this be your candle if you begin to flouder."

His eyes were wet when he threw his arms around her and said it for the first time. "I love you, Master."

"And I you, Padawan."

* * *

He pulled back as though he had suddenly realized something. He opened the neck of his robes and pulled out the thin silver chain, the feather dancing like fire in the dying light of day. 

"This is one of them, isn't it? This is one of your feathers?"

"Yes. It was the only one left once they were done with me. I took it from the leader's momento box after I slew him."

Fresh tears were welling. He carefully hid the necklace away again, tucked against his heart. 

"Sirs." Rex interrupted, holding a bundle of her spare clothes. 

"Thank you." She replied quietly, sitting back to pull the heavy brown robes about herself, barely registering the harsh catch of the rough fabric against her revealed scars. She stood, shaking herself out of her memories and standing tall once more, ready to command men and lead armies. 

"Don't cut me out again." He pleaded, still on his knees with his hand clutching his heart. 

She softened again and for a moment, he was back in the Temple, curled against her breast, in her robe with her and so, so safe. 

"Now you know everything. I will likely live the rest of my life with you at my side. Do not shield yourself from me, either."

He broke into a smile, beaming at her the same way he did when she gave him that necklace. "Never again."

"Good." And just like that, she was General Kenobi again. "Captain, gather the men and clear this place out. If I never find myself as a slave on an asteroid mine again, it will be too soon."

Rex, memories of Zygerria passing between them, chuckled and sharply nodded. "Done, General."

"We'll be out in a minute. I have to change out of my ruined clothes."

"A transport will be waiting." Rex exited the shallow cave. 

"Oh, and Anakin?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan?"

"Ahsoka needs a hug."

The Torgruta looked away shyly. He pulled her in anyway, squeezing her tightly. 

"She needs all the same love I gave you." She said, pulling on her robes over her regular satin jerkin. She laced the belt, pulling the over-robe back on. She had been exposed enough today. 

"I'll do better, Snips."

"Being you is enough, Skyguy." She smiled back.

She stroked down both of their heads, taking turns to kiss their foreheads. "I am proud of you both."

He flushed under the praise, but Ahsoka's grin only brightened further. 

She lead them out, back to the transport and the light of the nearby sun. Her hair shone, much the same as the feather. She turned and beckoned them closer.

She was everything he wanted to be. She was everything he was striving to become. And for the first time in a long time, the encroaching darkness retreated in the face of her fire. 

Anakin felt himself click into place - finally finding where he was supposed to be, who he was supposed to be. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
